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Simple Accaptance
This battle is personal, and yet it affects the entire world. These are the things others say are "delusional" but I say is simple truth. If I can help one other person be more tolerant, try to be more understanding, or even accept our differences, than I will have served my Purpose.
There are many different versions of mis-understanding, often starting with a diagnosis, even though there were confusing issues previously. We are told we have a "disorder" of some sort, and given a plan for addressing it. This plan usually includes medication and psychiatric assistance, maybe even a process of education for ourselves and possibly our family members. Most of these things confuse us more and even makes the problems worse.
I don't know how many patients are told, these recommendations are just a starting point in learning how to deal with the world differently, but, even amongst fellow sufferers, these recommendations are considered as necessary as the "recommendations" made by AA sponsors. Those of us who choose different methods are treated as out-casts.
No wonder I like the classic Christmas movie "Rudolf the Red-Nosed reindeer"; even among misfits I'm a misfit! But then I don't consider myself as having a "disorder". I don't know a single person who is "normal", making me wonder if what makes me "abnormal" is simply my awareness, not some chemical difference. I also genuinely feel better and more in control of my person and mind than ever before in my life, but I also have changed many things about the way I live:
I do not take psychological medications on a regular basis, though I do use herbs, as well as some other "as needed" prescriptions. Daily medications build up in your system over time, which means it also takes time to get them completely out of your system. The way they interact with one another, the things you ingest, as well as one's individual body chemistry, is usually considered with only the slightest of precautions. These medications are also often very dangerous if not closely monitored, or if taken off them quickly. This makes them exceptionally expensive as the doctor's must be paid for as well as prescriptions.
Also expensive are the therapists and psychologists. I recently read a post on a web-board I'm involved in that cautioned the use of such groups as replacement for therapy. Whereas I agree that taking advice from just anyone is not appropriate, I believe that seeking information from people who have the same diagnosis, and then applying what you learn of their experience to what you know of your particular circumstances is priceless. As someone who as not only asked therapists if they have ever been diagnosed with an "Emotional Disorder", I am aware that, professional counselors are not allowed to disclose much about themselves. For me that is unacceptable: I know for a fact not everything you learn in a classroom applies in real-life, and if you don't know what this is like, don't try to presume you understand it. Sharing with others instead of professional therapy is how I prefer to work through whatever is going on.
I still don't expect others with the same diagnosis to really understand what it is like to be me. Each of us may have been told we have a specific shared disorder, but not only does it manifest in each individual differently, we also have other diagnosis and situations that impact this particular diagnosis. So even if you try to understand me, you are only getting a limited perspective. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try; all I ask is that you understand we all have a different understanding, and that's OK.
This different understanding isn't just in the way we process emotions, or even in the way we think. This also includes a difference in the way we live our lives. What we may have accepted as standards growing up, were not appropriate for our individuality in a changing environment. Just because "ladies" didn't wear pants in America before the 1950's, doesn't make it an appropriate standard for today's America. Just because we have been raised to center our lives around a career and family, doesn't mean money should be our first priority nor that each of us needs a partner. Just because I was trained out of my extreme shyness, doesn't mean that I was intended to interact with strangers every day.
It is a shame that the same people who come to me because I have unusual insight into the psyche of others, are the same people who are afraid of me now that they see my words had meaning. It is a shame that the people who admired the confidence I faked when I stood on stage and sang, are the same people who think I am ill now because I refuse to continue to conform to standards I do not agree with. It is a shame to me that, though everyone I work with is concerned about the stigma of "emotional disorders", others with diagnoses similar to mine consider my non-traditional methods un-worthy.
One of my dearest friends is a gay man in a wheel chair with a similar diagnosis as mine. I asked him once which stigma caused him the most trouble; which was the more difficult to live with. I do not, nor have not ever known of someone living under more difficult circumstances, and was only slightly surprised to discover his answer was the "emotional disorder". I may be unique in having more than one person close to me who has a physical disability, but I am not unique in knowing so many with "emotional disorders"; even though he feels that his emotions are the cause of most of the stigma he encounters, I cannot think of any single person he interacts with who is "emotionally healthy" by common standards. I don't know them all personally, but, thanks to things like FaceBook, I know enough of them to know, we all each have some kind of issue we are dealing with. Those who are most critical of him are the ones who seem to have the biggest psychological issues.
The only thing that will help is if we stop expecting others to conform to our standards. I am learning I don't do this as well as I had hoped either; maybe not everyone is intended to be kind to others, even though I know that is what it takes to make a better world. I don't feel the need to make money my priority, but I shouldn't expect others to make family or spirituality as high a priority as I do either. Some differences are hard to understand, much less accept. Maybe it's time to stop over analyzing and to simply accept.
There are many different versions of mis-understanding, often starting with a diagnosis, even though there were confusing issues previously. We are told we have a "disorder" of some sort, and given a plan for addressing it. This plan usually includes medication and psychiatric assistance, maybe even a process of education for ourselves and possibly our family members. Most of these things confuse us more and even makes the problems worse.
I don't know how many patients are told, these recommendations are just a starting point in learning how to deal with the world differently, but, even amongst fellow sufferers, these recommendations are considered as necessary as the "recommendations" made by AA sponsors. Those of us who choose different methods are treated as out-casts.
No wonder I like the classic Christmas movie "Rudolf the Red-Nosed reindeer"; even among misfits I'm a misfit! But then I don't consider myself as having a "disorder". I don't know a single person who is "normal", making me wonder if what makes me "abnormal" is simply my awareness, not some chemical difference. I also genuinely feel better and more in control of my person and mind than ever before in my life, but I also have changed many things about the way I live:
I do not take psychological medications on a regular basis, though I do use herbs, as well as some other "as needed" prescriptions. Daily medications build up in your system over time, which means it also takes time to get them completely out of your system. The way they interact with one another, the things you ingest, as well as one's individual body chemistry, is usually considered with only the slightest of precautions. These medications are also often very dangerous if not closely monitored, or if taken off them quickly. This makes them exceptionally expensive as the doctor's must be paid for as well as prescriptions.
Also expensive are the therapists and psychologists. I recently read a post on a web-board I'm involved in that cautioned the use of such groups as replacement for therapy. Whereas I agree that taking advice from just anyone is not appropriate, I believe that seeking information from people who have the same diagnosis, and then applying what you learn of their experience to what you know of your particular circumstances is priceless. As someone who as not only asked therapists if they have ever been diagnosed with an "Emotional Disorder", I am aware that, professional counselors are not allowed to disclose much about themselves. For me that is unacceptable: I know for a fact not everything you learn in a classroom applies in real-life, and if you don't know what this is like, don't try to presume you understand it. Sharing with others instead of professional therapy is how I prefer to work through whatever is going on.
I still don't expect others with the same diagnosis to really understand what it is like to be me. Each of us may have been told we have a specific shared disorder, but not only does it manifest in each individual differently, we also have other diagnosis and situations that impact this particular diagnosis. So even if you try to understand me, you are only getting a limited perspective. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try; all I ask is that you understand we all have a different understanding, and that's OK.
This different understanding isn't just in the way we process emotions, or even in the way we think. This also includes a difference in the way we live our lives. What we may have accepted as standards growing up, were not appropriate for our individuality in a changing environment. Just because "ladies" didn't wear pants in America before the 1950's, doesn't make it an appropriate standard for today's America. Just because we have been raised to center our lives around a career and family, doesn't mean money should be our first priority nor that each of us needs a partner. Just because I was trained out of my extreme shyness, doesn't mean that I was intended to interact with strangers every day.
It is a shame that the same people who come to me because I have unusual insight into the psyche of others, are the same people who are afraid of me now that they see my words had meaning. It is a shame that the people who admired the confidence I faked when I stood on stage and sang, are the same people who think I am ill now because I refuse to continue to conform to standards I do not agree with. It is a shame to me that, though everyone I work with is concerned about the stigma of "emotional disorders", others with diagnoses similar to mine consider my non-traditional methods un-worthy.
One of my dearest friends is a gay man in a wheel chair with a similar diagnosis as mine. I asked him once which stigma caused him the most trouble; which was the more difficult to live with. I do not, nor have not ever known of someone living under more difficult circumstances, and was only slightly surprised to discover his answer was the "emotional disorder". I may be unique in having more than one person close to me who has a physical disability, but I am not unique in knowing so many with "emotional disorders"; even though he feels that his emotions are the cause of most of the stigma he encounters, I cannot think of any single person he interacts with who is "emotionally healthy" by common standards. I don't know them all personally, but, thanks to things like FaceBook, I know enough of them to know, we all each have some kind of issue we are dealing with. Those who are most critical of him are the ones who seem to have the biggest psychological issues.
The only thing that will help is if we stop expecting others to conform to our standards. I am learning I don't do this as well as I had hoped either; maybe not everyone is intended to be kind to others, even though I know that is what it takes to make a better world. I don't feel the need to make money my priority, but I shouldn't expect others to make family or spirituality as high a priority as I do either. Some differences are hard to understand, much less accept. Maybe it's time to stop over analyzing and to simply accept.