Click here to Introduction
It Is Finished
Life ebbs and flows, and still it gathers in pockets of time defined by lose boundaries held by people, places, things or events. Most of my life I have capsulized by where I lived. Sometimes, by the most influential people in my sphere at that time.
Recently I met a strange and wonderful person, who has instigated yet another new chapter. This past year has been full of difficulties, the waters of my being tumbling over sharp rocks of disappointment and fear. Even in this turbulence, I have felt nourished and even been aware of this cleansing process. I understand that I may be the clothing beaten against the rocks, but when I emerge, I shall be cleansed and refreshed and ready to dry in the sun. The sun has arisen!
She is my shining light. Although I have had instantaneous connections with people before, even in a deeply spiritual way, this new light is nearly blinding. I can still see the shadows in the distance, but the glow is where I am suddenly focused. A while back I received an electrical jolt from a malfunctioning computer that charged me with mania for a month. Interacting with this person makes me feel exactly the same way!
It is not that she draws attention to herself, nor that we interact often. Each shared moment goes beyond the rational, rather they are face-to-face, or only within. These moments are directed by a spiritual connection, even though she is a Christian, and I am a ChoUist Pagan. Together, however, we feed of the Great Creator, and share that nourishment with one another, even when we are apart.
It is because of this being of light, that I have reached the end of this journey. The fear has been conquered. It is not gone, but it is no longer in charge. The anger is gone. Those that caused it have not changed, but I understand they are to be pitied not hated; they probably hate themselves enough for us both. I do not expect that I will never again suffer, but I have no doubt that such suffering will bring me only goodness and strength.
Jesus of Nazareth was scourged until he was no longer recognizable as a man. Then, in his anguish, was displayed to be ridiculed and hated. His friends and closest companion questioned and cursed. Yet, without what the world sees as betrayal by a best friend, there could be no salvation for Christians. It is in the horror of his life, that glory grew. It does not matter what your faith may be; there is documented a true human who experienced this crucifixion for the sake of his beliefs.
Is that so different from what I have been through? After overcoming physical beatings, I accepted emotional abuse from employers and the world in general. I became something less than human, unable to recognize myself in the midst of pain. Through no one fault but my own, I technologically crucified myself, displaying my state of being in its raw and naked form. Some of those I loved the most, in their own humanity, denied me and betrayed me.
And like Jesus of Nazareth, I was buried in darkness and solitude, then God sent an angel of light to shout "AWAKEN!" and to roll away the great stone in my way. We all suffer in our individual humanity. We do not require that we be "the son of God" in order to understand this story of Jesus, nor even that we believe in a Creator Being. We each carry within us a story of suffering. It is what we chose to do with it, that gives us the ability be a savior or simply the undead.
This book of history is done. This story, begun in anguish and anxiety, has come to its end. I will not return here; there are much more exciting stories to tell. The time has come to look to the future of my creation, not the past dictated by the will of others. That time has gone. It is finished.
Recently I met a strange and wonderful person, who has instigated yet another new chapter. This past year has been full of difficulties, the waters of my being tumbling over sharp rocks of disappointment and fear. Even in this turbulence, I have felt nourished and even been aware of this cleansing process. I understand that I may be the clothing beaten against the rocks, but when I emerge, I shall be cleansed and refreshed and ready to dry in the sun. The sun has arisen!
She is my shining light. Although I have had instantaneous connections with people before, even in a deeply spiritual way, this new light is nearly blinding. I can still see the shadows in the distance, but the glow is where I am suddenly focused. A while back I received an electrical jolt from a malfunctioning computer that charged me with mania for a month. Interacting with this person makes me feel exactly the same way!
It is not that she draws attention to herself, nor that we interact often. Each shared moment goes beyond the rational, rather they are face-to-face, or only within. These moments are directed by a spiritual connection, even though she is a Christian, and I am a ChoUist Pagan. Together, however, we feed of the Great Creator, and share that nourishment with one another, even when we are apart.
It is because of this being of light, that I have reached the end of this journey. The fear has been conquered. It is not gone, but it is no longer in charge. The anger is gone. Those that caused it have not changed, but I understand they are to be pitied not hated; they probably hate themselves enough for us both. I do not expect that I will never again suffer, but I have no doubt that such suffering will bring me only goodness and strength.
Jesus of Nazareth was scourged until he was no longer recognizable as a man. Then, in his anguish, was displayed to be ridiculed and hated. His friends and closest companion questioned and cursed. Yet, without what the world sees as betrayal by a best friend, there could be no salvation for Christians. It is in the horror of his life, that glory grew. It does not matter what your faith may be; there is documented a true human who experienced this crucifixion for the sake of his beliefs.
Is that so different from what I have been through? After overcoming physical beatings, I accepted emotional abuse from employers and the world in general. I became something less than human, unable to recognize myself in the midst of pain. Through no one fault but my own, I technologically crucified myself, displaying my state of being in its raw and naked form. Some of those I loved the most, in their own humanity, denied me and betrayed me.
And like Jesus of Nazareth, I was buried in darkness and solitude, then God sent an angel of light to shout "AWAKEN!" and to roll away the great stone in my way. We all suffer in our individual humanity. We do not require that we be "the son of God" in order to understand this story of Jesus, nor even that we believe in a Creator Being. We each carry within us a story of suffering. It is what we chose to do with it, that gives us the ability be a savior or simply the undead.
This book of history is done. This story, begun in anguish and anxiety, has come to its end. I will not return here; there are much more exciting stories to tell. The time has come to look to the future of my creation, not the past dictated by the will of others. That time has gone. It is finished.