Click here to Introduction
Dead Body Raises More Than The Usual Questions
What would you do if someone knocked on your door at midnight? If they sounded like they were distressed and asked to come in, would you let them in? How would you feel if the tracks in the snow the next morning lead to a dead body?
That's exactly what happened in Columbus, Ohio in the past 12 hours. According to 10TV News, a man denied entry to another man who knocked on his door at midnight. The next morning, a man's dead body was found in the garden shed.
Is this evoking some emotion in you? It did me-absolute horror. That could have been you or I on either side of that door.
There is no doubt that we live in a scary world. People who try to help a stranger can find themselves becoming a victim or even dying. People who don't get involved can be the cause of someone else's death. How is it possible to even know when to help?
I don't have an easy answer, but maybe my attitude has changed. Understand this; I will protect myself beyond the extent of the law, especially in my own home. I also rarely allow people I know and love into my home, however, because of this story, I may allow a stranger in apparent distress in, under the bead of my nearest weapon.
But this isn't the only story of late where someone not getting involved may have been the cause of a death. The lack of participation in the life of Arizona shooter Jared Loughner lead to several deaths. As someone diagnosed with an "Emotional Disorder" I wonder where Loughner's family was, even if he had already alienated his friends.
Only a few years ago I was on the telephone with someone in distress because they believed what another loved one was saying was out of intent, not just a verbal outburst. Because the individual with whom I was speaking was incapable of judging the difference between a spout-off and intent, it became my responsibility to ascertain the probability of this individual's violent behavior. It also became my consequences to deal with even now; nearly two years after the fact.
Just like those individuals who knowingly make public obviously private pictures are guilty of murder when those pictures lead to suicide, so would I have been guilty if I had ignored this concern for violent action had the individual carried out their threats. We are responsible for one another, if only to, individual to individual, bring the reality of their words to their attention. If you say you love a person, you are that much more responsible. If you say you are a caregiver, such as a teacher or medial professional, you are even more responsible.
Yes, I am willing to do whatever I have to in order to protect my person and those whom I love and claim responsibility for. I am also willing to face the potential consequences. Maybe this empowers me while others live in fear. Fear makes people do stupid things. I do not venture out into public often because other people tend toward a selfishness born of the need to survive each day that becomes an emotional attack on me, intended or not. This does not mean that I do not care for strangers.
Have you noticed the change in people when you hold the door open for them, not because you happen to be standing there, but because you see them coming? Have you taken the time to send a cheerful thought to the friend of a friend just because you saw they were hurting? Have you taken the time to show the people you profess to love that you appreciate them?
Sometimes caring for others is scary. If you love someone "crazy" like me, you are afraid to speak up because you don't want to make a bad situation worse, or you simply do not know what to say, especially if you have an acknowledged difference of opinion in how to live. Still, if I say or do something that seems extreme, it is your responsibility to speak up. People act when they believe their needs are not being met and that they are not being heard. By just getting involved, you may prevent an action, even if you have to bear discomfort.
People take advantage of people. They use subterfuge to do so, or even play on expected emotional reactions. People are often not very nice. That's why it's more important than ever to get involved. Know your personal limitations and then use them. I understand that, if I am already angry, I should not drive. It's as easy to take out a group of innocents with a car as it is with a gun, though I don't think anyone who knows me would believe that I would do such a thing, even on my worst days, but if someone gave me a reason, not even a good one, I might take out that anger in a minor traffic incident.
But not everyone knows and understands such personal boundaries. Sometimes it takes someone else to say, "You should not be driving. A car is just a gun on wheels." Sometimes it takes someone else to say, "I don't appreciate what you said/did in there, and I think that you wouldn't either if you really thought about it. What's going on?" to save lives. Sometimes it takes, "OK, I'm going to let you in and we'll call the police, but if you do anything funny, you aren't going to have to worry about what's out there anymore!" to change the world.
I can only imagine what life will be like for the poor fellow who did not feel secure enough inside his own home to open the door to a distressed stranger who became a lifeless body. As the story unfolds, he may find that he did the right thing, protecting his own family from a greater catastrophe. Either way, I have learned to ask myself some hard questions, as well as answer them. Will you let these situations change you for the better or for the worse?
That's exactly what happened in Columbus, Ohio in the past 12 hours. According to 10TV News, a man denied entry to another man who knocked on his door at midnight. The next morning, a man's dead body was found in the garden shed.
Is this evoking some emotion in you? It did me-absolute horror. That could have been you or I on either side of that door.
There is no doubt that we live in a scary world. People who try to help a stranger can find themselves becoming a victim or even dying. People who don't get involved can be the cause of someone else's death. How is it possible to even know when to help?
I don't have an easy answer, but maybe my attitude has changed. Understand this; I will protect myself beyond the extent of the law, especially in my own home. I also rarely allow people I know and love into my home, however, because of this story, I may allow a stranger in apparent distress in, under the bead of my nearest weapon.
But this isn't the only story of late where someone not getting involved may have been the cause of a death. The lack of participation in the life of Arizona shooter Jared Loughner lead to several deaths. As someone diagnosed with an "Emotional Disorder" I wonder where Loughner's family was, even if he had already alienated his friends.
Only a few years ago I was on the telephone with someone in distress because they believed what another loved one was saying was out of intent, not just a verbal outburst. Because the individual with whom I was speaking was incapable of judging the difference between a spout-off and intent, it became my responsibility to ascertain the probability of this individual's violent behavior. It also became my consequences to deal with even now; nearly two years after the fact.
Just like those individuals who knowingly make public obviously private pictures are guilty of murder when those pictures lead to suicide, so would I have been guilty if I had ignored this concern for violent action had the individual carried out their threats. We are responsible for one another, if only to, individual to individual, bring the reality of their words to their attention. If you say you love a person, you are that much more responsible. If you say you are a caregiver, such as a teacher or medial professional, you are even more responsible.
Yes, I am willing to do whatever I have to in order to protect my person and those whom I love and claim responsibility for. I am also willing to face the potential consequences. Maybe this empowers me while others live in fear. Fear makes people do stupid things. I do not venture out into public often because other people tend toward a selfishness born of the need to survive each day that becomes an emotional attack on me, intended or not. This does not mean that I do not care for strangers.
Have you noticed the change in people when you hold the door open for them, not because you happen to be standing there, but because you see them coming? Have you taken the time to send a cheerful thought to the friend of a friend just because you saw they were hurting? Have you taken the time to show the people you profess to love that you appreciate them?
Sometimes caring for others is scary. If you love someone "crazy" like me, you are afraid to speak up because you don't want to make a bad situation worse, or you simply do not know what to say, especially if you have an acknowledged difference of opinion in how to live. Still, if I say or do something that seems extreme, it is your responsibility to speak up. People act when they believe their needs are not being met and that they are not being heard. By just getting involved, you may prevent an action, even if you have to bear discomfort.
People take advantage of people. They use subterfuge to do so, or even play on expected emotional reactions. People are often not very nice. That's why it's more important than ever to get involved. Know your personal limitations and then use them. I understand that, if I am already angry, I should not drive. It's as easy to take out a group of innocents with a car as it is with a gun, though I don't think anyone who knows me would believe that I would do such a thing, even on my worst days, but if someone gave me a reason, not even a good one, I might take out that anger in a minor traffic incident.
But not everyone knows and understands such personal boundaries. Sometimes it takes someone else to say, "You should not be driving. A car is just a gun on wheels." Sometimes it takes someone else to say, "I don't appreciate what you said/did in there, and I think that you wouldn't either if you really thought about it. What's going on?" to save lives. Sometimes it takes, "OK, I'm going to let you in and we'll call the police, but if you do anything funny, you aren't going to have to worry about what's out there anymore!" to change the world.
I can only imagine what life will be like for the poor fellow who did not feel secure enough inside his own home to open the door to a distressed stranger who became a lifeless body. As the story unfolds, he may find that he did the right thing, protecting his own family from a greater catastrophe. Either way, I have learned to ask myself some hard questions, as well as answer them. Will you let these situations change you for the better or for the worse?