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By Deffinition
We are looking at two years now since I set out on any real journey on my own. Although I once drove across a continent on my own, I have now not been further than a day's drive from my house, and haven't been away for more than a day's time either. My house has been my inner sanctum ever since I realized people can take away your emotional security; people who are supposed to help.
But I overcame that hurdle in my road, merely allowing it to change my direction when it might have otherwise stopped my journey entirely. Now I am preparing to take a physical journey that will be a test of my emotional adventure. I will learn if I am in charge of my being, or if my past is in charge of it.
And when I return, I will need to complete the move that has been taking years to accomplish. Years of gathering memories to a house that was the sanctuary of a treasured childhood, that were shifted to my own house. Months of sorting and shifting, hours of lifting. During this time I discovered memories best left forgotten, gems of papers nearly tossed into the trash.
For the past two years I have been accomplishing what Grandpa could not do in 45. True, I am not yet finished, and I have a garage and a garage sized storage unit left to move and sort, but I am half way done with the stuff from Grandma's house, and hopefully completely done with the extreme anxieties.
Losing Grandpa was the worst fear of my childhood. I faced that with laughter and love. Sorting those memories in order to reduce our material possessions has not been at all easy. Through the process of giving these things up, I have had to mentally address the lessons they represent. Not all lessons learned in childhood are good ones, especially when seen through the eyes of an adult.
But being an adult means choosing how you allow the past to impact your future, and so, like Papa's dying moments, I take this fear in hand; This is MY Inner Sanctum! It is the spirit I carry with me, not merely the physical space I perceive as my own.
And so I will continue to dismantle the sanctuaries I have thus far known, but in doing so, I shall build an even greater sanctuary that knows no boundaries.
Peace & Love
through
Tolerance & Understanding!
Taunta Beanie
But I overcame that hurdle in my road, merely allowing it to change my direction when it might have otherwise stopped my journey entirely. Now I am preparing to take a physical journey that will be a test of my emotional adventure. I will learn if I am in charge of my being, or if my past is in charge of it.
And when I return, I will need to complete the move that has been taking years to accomplish. Years of gathering memories to a house that was the sanctuary of a treasured childhood, that were shifted to my own house. Months of sorting and shifting, hours of lifting. During this time I discovered memories best left forgotten, gems of papers nearly tossed into the trash.
For the past two years I have been accomplishing what Grandpa could not do in 45. True, I am not yet finished, and I have a garage and a garage sized storage unit left to move and sort, but I am half way done with the stuff from Grandma's house, and hopefully completely done with the extreme anxieties.
Losing Grandpa was the worst fear of my childhood. I faced that with laughter and love. Sorting those memories in order to reduce our material possessions has not been at all easy. Through the process of giving these things up, I have had to mentally address the lessons they represent. Not all lessons learned in childhood are good ones, especially when seen through the eyes of an adult.
But being an adult means choosing how you allow the past to impact your future, and so, like Papa's dying moments, I take this fear in hand; This is MY Inner Sanctum! It is the spirit I carry with me, not merely the physical space I perceive as my own.
And so I will continue to dismantle the sanctuaries I have thus far known, but in doing so, I shall build an even greater sanctuary that knows no boundaries.
Peace & Love
through
Tolerance & Understanding!
Taunta Beanie