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How to Be Poor
Until I was five I had a very privileged life. It's not that I had not experience with poverty, it was just that I didn't realize it. Although in my house we were "well to do" by may standards, there was a great deal of visiting with relatives who, at the time, I thought were just "country folk". I thought they all chose to live the way they did, and although some of them did, later I realized that a lot of what I saw was more about being unable to afford something better.
That does not mean that those people had a poor quality of life. After Daddy and I moved out of Grandpa and Grandma's house, I began to understand a great deal more about the larger world. Some of those lessons were horrible, but necessary. Most people would look at that time of my life and tell me how awful it was and no wonder it traumatized me.
"Pshaw!" It was going from fantasy to reality that "traumatized" me. That reality was just one of the lessons I needed to learn, including how to successfully be poor.
Most people are not living in poverty because they choose to. More often than not, you will find someone in a "poor family" with a "mental disorder" of some sort as well. When someone is emotionally unable to adjust to the daily cruelties of the wider world, they are going to have more problems than just the world. Like being poor.
One of the great horrors of my dad's life was his second marriage; mostly because of "the impact and effect" it had on me. Unfortunately we come from a long line of "crazy" people, so we have a very skewed way of creating our perceptions. Daddy (like most fathers) is so focused on his "little girl" that he has missed the greater balance. That's why God gave him me.
One of Daddy's worst Christmas memories was a big box of food "Santa" gave us. The horror of knowing you can't take care of your own family could have been more than he could bear, but fortunately he isn't as selfish as that. Instead of letting that moment defeat him, he struggled on in his depression and against the great impediments placed in his way. He finished his degree, moved on with his life, and even managed to set a few great examples along the way.
Most people who knew him, strive to be at least something like my grandpa. Papa was good at taking care of everyone, even though, at times, it strained his resources. Actually, most of the time he had "strained resources", but it takes much more than people to realize to create an environment of "home", and while I find myself conforming to the lessons taught by Grandma, Daddy strives to take up the umbrella of Grandpa.
He has no idea what a good job he is doing. It was never easy for Grandpa to come up with the money we needed for this, that and the other. We may have gone shopping for clothes, but we used every penny wisely and, yes, we came home with more than we intended, but each piece was under priced and over worn, making it well worth the cost for Grandpa. Like when he got us the big box of food. I'll bet Grandpa and Grandma spent as much on that one Christmas present as Daddy spent taking me to the grocery store the other day.
You see, I am the luckiest poor person alive. I still have someone to take care of my needs when they become desperate. My husband doesn't understand this. People joke about me leaving because he "can no longer keep me in the manner in which I am accustomed" . Except that I'm accustomed to being "poor". Few and far between have been the times when my pantry is full and I have felt "safe". I have never starved though. Even if the government will not lend me aid, my family will not let me fail.
Not everyone has this. Not every family is as socialized to care for one another as we are. When there is a need, we drop everything. There have been moments when other people have seen me do such a thing, and they get frustrated with me for jumping when called. Hopefully, as I am now the one in need and those same people are jumping to care for me, the outsiders who see this example, will begin to assimilate, and understand what I mean when I say "you are my family".
Sometimes that means taking someone grocery shopping, even though you aren't quite sure how you are going to make your own bills come out. Sometimes that means being physically present in a situation that causes quiet emotional panic. Sometimes that means not cleaning so that you can chat with that person who is on the edge of sanity, just long enough to give them a life line.
We don't have to be "financially secure" to share our wealth. We don't have to be "mentally stable" to provide a solid foundation. We don't even have to be "OK" in order to be wonderful!
I am "poor". I do not know where I will be living in a year, nor do I know where my next meal will come from. I am one of the richest people I know.
That does not mean that those people had a poor quality of life. After Daddy and I moved out of Grandpa and Grandma's house, I began to understand a great deal more about the larger world. Some of those lessons were horrible, but necessary. Most people would look at that time of my life and tell me how awful it was and no wonder it traumatized me.
"Pshaw!" It was going from fantasy to reality that "traumatized" me. That reality was just one of the lessons I needed to learn, including how to successfully be poor.
Most people are not living in poverty because they choose to. More often than not, you will find someone in a "poor family" with a "mental disorder" of some sort as well. When someone is emotionally unable to adjust to the daily cruelties of the wider world, they are going to have more problems than just the world. Like being poor.
One of the great horrors of my dad's life was his second marriage; mostly because of "the impact and effect" it had on me. Unfortunately we come from a long line of "crazy" people, so we have a very skewed way of creating our perceptions. Daddy (like most fathers) is so focused on his "little girl" that he has missed the greater balance. That's why God gave him me.
One of Daddy's worst Christmas memories was a big box of food "Santa" gave us. The horror of knowing you can't take care of your own family could have been more than he could bear, but fortunately he isn't as selfish as that. Instead of letting that moment defeat him, he struggled on in his depression and against the great impediments placed in his way. He finished his degree, moved on with his life, and even managed to set a few great examples along the way.
Most people who knew him, strive to be at least something like my grandpa. Papa was good at taking care of everyone, even though, at times, it strained his resources. Actually, most of the time he had "strained resources", but it takes much more than people to realize to create an environment of "home", and while I find myself conforming to the lessons taught by Grandma, Daddy strives to take up the umbrella of Grandpa.
He has no idea what a good job he is doing. It was never easy for Grandpa to come up with the money we needed for this, that and the other. We may have gone shopping for clothes, but we used every penny wisely and, yes, we came home with more than we intended, but each piece was under priced and over worn, making it well worth the cost for Grandpa. Like when he got us the big box of food. I'll bet Grandpa and Grandma spent as much on that one Christmas present as Daddy spent taking me to the grocery store the other day.
You see, I am the luckiest poor person alive. I still have someone to take care of my needs when they become desperate. My husband doesn't understand this. People joke about me leaving because he "can no longer keep me in the manner in which I am accustomed" . Except that I'm accustomed to being "poor". Few and far between have been the times when my pantry is full and I have felt "safe". I have never starved though. Even if the government will not lend me aid, my family will not let me fail.
Not everyone has this. Not every family is as socialized to care for one another as we are. When there is a need, we drop everything. There have been moments when other people have seen me do such a thing, and they get frustrated with me for jumping when called. Hopefully, as I am now the one in need and those same people are jumping to care for me, the outsiders who see this example, will begin to assimilate, and understand what I mean when I say "you are my family".
Sometimes that means taking someone grocery shopping, even though you aren't quite sure how you are going to make your own bills come out. Sometimes that means being physically present in a situation that causes quiet emotional panic. Sometimes that means not cleaning so that you can chat with that person who is on the edge of sanity, just long enough to give them a life line.
We don't have to be "financially secure" to share our wealth. We don't have to be "mentally stable" to provide a solid foundation. We don't even have to be "OK" in order to be wonderful!
I am "poor". I do not know where I will be living in a year, nor do I know where my next meal will come from. I am one of the richest people I know.