Dealing With Judgement
Once again, I have been judged and found lacking. I’m not surprised, since my choices, choices that keep me alive and from hurting others, are not according to the standards of those doing the judging. Then again, they are not living according to their own standards either.
The problem, primarily, is my refusal to make my god from gold, like modern culture has been taught, the cause, according to these others, is my “addictions”. Never mind that, in respect for those I live with, I have had to give up some of the things that allow me to maintain functionality, instead supplementing with things like Valium, which makes me incapable of doing anything but sleeping and is so addictive that even generations that didn’t use it know exactly what “Mother’s Little Helper” is.
No, I don’t have a job, beyond what you see here. I am a writer, though not a wildly successful one. I am also a “Pastor”, however because I am not Christian, that doesn’t count either. Apparently, the only people who count are other “financially secure Christians”. At least that’s the judgment passed down on me.
This judgment is passed on by people who are also addicted. Some of them are addicted to their religion. I do not need to remind you that when Christians become addicted to their religion, we get things like the Crusades. Because to these people all other religions are just cults, the other end of the extreme is mass suicides, or the kind of massacre of Wacco, Texas. We all know that the world would be better if everyone conformed to one belief which, of course, must be that of those passing the judgments.
I know most of the people who are passing me judgment, would prefer that I were dead. Fortunately for them I am a stubborn Appalachian who can take joy out of their disappointment in my every breath. This is saying something, because I have been suicidal since my early teens. I may have moments where I still wonder if living is actually worth it (usually because other people disappoint my perspective of the inherent goodness of people), but I no longer think of how to kill myself, but how to best get through the day, because tomorrow always allows me to think through different eyes.
If instead of living according to the faith the Creator put in my heart, I went to their book of dogma, I would find an interesting fact about their insistence to pass judgment on me. It comes from The Gospel of Matthew Chapter 7, verses 1-5 (I admit that we are skipping the history lesson of how this particular book was organized):
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
The people who are passing judgment on me foster alcoholism in their homes. They are addicted to some form of mood altering drug, such as Paxil, Prozac, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, and the list goes on. They may bounce from one to another, or even take a combination, risking multiple side-effects from expensive drugs that have the potential to kill you if you can’t afford them. In addition to something that helps them conform to a society they can’t stand either, they are likely taking some other drug to assist in their physical health, such as a diabetic medicine or maybe just an aspirin to help with high blood pressure.
Rarely do they consider the fact that the same FDA that approved these medications, also told us DDT would not harm us. Never mind that most of them will agree that the companies that make medications are in bed with politicians and doctors, perpetuating an unbalanced health care system. Still, these individuals must be making the best choices for our personal health, right?
Addictions exist in many forms. Do not, whatever your faith may be, judge me for what you think is my inappropriate addictions. Not every human requires the same resolutions. For some, to require Prozac is entirely appropriate, rather it is an “addiction” or not; chances are it’s keeping someone alive; even with potential side-effects, it may be the best thing currently available to that individual.
If you are going to judge me, then do so by my standards, with respect for your own rules. Do I live according to what I profess? If not, then I expect you to call me out on it. Do I give up, just because other people don’t agree with me, or do I try to push forward with an intent to make the world better?
I am not perfect. I make mistakes, sometimes by being honest and open about what’s inside my head. You know what though? With these kinds of mistakes, I may be making people who need to re-think their words and behaviors mad, but I am also likely giving hope to someone else who is angry, but still believe there is hope for a world full of judgmental hypocrites.
The problem, primarily, is my refusal to make my god from gold, like modern culture has been taught, the cause, according to these others, is my “addictions”. Never mind that, in respect for those I live with, I have had to give up some of the things that allow me to maintain functionality, instead supplementing with things like Valium, which makes me incapable of doing anything but sleeping and is so addictive that even generations that didn’t use it know exactly what “Mother’s Little Helper” is.
No, I don’t have a job, beyond what you see here. I am a writer, though not a wildly successful one. I am also a “Pastor”, however because I am not Christian, that doesn’t count either. Apparently, the only people who count are other “financially secure Christians”. At least that’s the judgment passed down on me.
This judgment is passed on by people who are also addicted. Some of them are addicted to their religion. I do not need to remind you that when Christians become addicted to their religion, we get things like the Crusades. Because to these people all other religions are just cults, the other end of the extreme is mass suicides, or the kind of massacre of Wacco, Texas. We all know that the world would be better if everyone conformed to one belief which, of course, must be that of those passing the judgments.
I know most of the people who are passing me judgment, would prefer that I were dead. Fortunately for them I am a stubborn Appalachian who can take joy out of their disappointment in my every breath. This is saying something, because I have been suicidal since my early teens. I may have moments where I still wonder if living is actually worth it (usually because other people disappoint my perspective of the inherent goodness of people), but I no longer think of how to kill myself, but how to best get through the day, because tomorrow always allows me to think through different eyes.
If instead of living according to the faith the Creator put in my heart, I went to their book of dogma, I would find an interesting fact about their insistence to pass judgment on me. It comes from The Gospel of Matthew Chapter 7, verses 1-5 (I admit that we are skipping the history lesson of how this particular book was organized):
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
The people who are passing judgment on me foster alcoholism in their homes. They are addicted to some form of mood altering drug, such as Paxil, Prozac, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, and the list goes on. They may bounce from one to another, or even take a combination, risking multiple side-effects from expensive drugs that have the potential to kill you if you can’t afford them. In addition to something that helps them conform to a society they can’t stand either, they are likely taking some other drug to assist in their physical health, such as a diabetic medicine or maybe just an aspirin to help with high blood pressure.
Rarely do they consider the fact that the same FDA that approved these medications, also told us DDT would not harm us. Never mind that most of them will agree that the companies that make medications are in bed with politicians and doctors, perpetuating an unbalanced health care system. Still, these individuals must be making the best choices for our personal health, right?
Addictions exist in many forms. Do not, whatever your faith may be, judge me for what you think is my inappropriate addictions. Not every human requires the same resolutions. For some, to require Prozac is entirely appropriate, rather it is an “addiction” or not; chances are it’s keeping someone alive; even with potential side-effects, it may be the best thing currently available to that individual.
If you are going to judge me, then do so by my standards, with respect for your own rules. Do I live according to what I profess? If not, then I expect you to call me out on it. Do I give up, just because other people don’t agree with me, or do I try to push forward with an intent to make the world better?
I am not perfect. I make mistakes, sometimes by being honest and open about what’s inside my head. You know what though? With these kinds of mistakes, I may be making people who need to re-think their words and behaviors mad, but I am also likely giving hope to someone else who is angry, but still believe there is hope for a world full of judgmental hypocrites.